My 5 a.m. strategic meditations

Do not discard imagination.
Imagination is a solid power;
Imagination is a reality
In the higher worlds.

Sri Chinmoy 1

When I was a fairly new disciple, there was a period of time when I would make a point of getting up to meditate at 5:00 a.m.. Inwardly, I imagined that at 6:00 a.m. hundreds of disciples were sitting in front of Guru for morning meditation, causing me to feel somewhat lost in the crowd. As a result of this inner imagining, I came up with the idea that if I 'arrived' earlier than everyone else, then I would be able sit right in front of Guru and hopefully be the only one with him up until 6:00 a.m. Thus I began my 5:00 a.m. strategic meditations.

After several successful mornings of getting up at the appointed hour, I started to feel that it was imperative that I not be late or miss a morning because I believed that Guru would definitely notice and be very disappointed. Also, I was finding that when my alarm went off, my first thought would always be that Guru was waiting for me, so it became very easy to get up to meditate. I would actually feel excited. In time, this entire experience began to blossom into a wonderful inner relationship with Guru. What started out as imaginary began to take on a precious reality.

A few weeks later, I travelled to New York for a weekend visit. I was very excited at the thought of seeing Guru but, at the same time, I was not expecting any kind of attention. I felt that as I was a new disciple, he still did not really know me outwardly. However, when I went up for prasad, Guru looked at me, gave a big smile and uttered what seemed to be a delighted exclamation of recognition, as though he was extremely happy to finally be able to put a face to the soul who was visiting him each morning.

At that moment, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that an inner relationship with Guru is far more real to him than an outer one.

by Sanchita Fleming
Ottawa, Canada

• 1. Sri Chinmoy, Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, part 16, Agni Press, 1999