Job Hunting

Im hunting for jobs at the moment. It's a bit depressing, to be honest with you. My problem is I've spent so much time at college, working for no-one, that now when I read every job application, behind the lines I see something like this:

Sycophant required to donate soul to lifeless corporation.
Must have strong desire for personal gain and ruthless ability to suppress all existential angst.
Must be willing to be handcuffed to computer for long hours and tolerate serpentine conversations about houses, cars, golf and how to ensure Mr. Taxman doesn't get his hands on your hard earned cash.
At least three references required as to your docility and subservience.

Oh well, I'm sure the system will wear me down in the end....